Describe how you met your spouse. Why were you first attracted to each other? Was it "love at first sight?" Why do you think you fell in love? What were you both doing at that time in your lives? Describe your courtship. Tell of some of the dates and memorable experiences you had together. How long was your courtship? How did you decide he/she was the "right one" for you?
How did you propose? (Or were you proposed to?) Describe your feelings as you proposed/accepted proposal. How long was your engagement? What do you remember about the steps that led to marriage? Did you have any doubts or "second thoughts" – if so, share them.
Did your family like your intended spouse? What was the reaction of your parents when you told them you were getting married? How did your brothers and sisters react? Your other relatives?
Can you vividly recall your wedding day? When and where did it take place? What do your remember about the preparations for your wedding day. Describe your feelings. Who attended? Were you nervous? Did all the arrangements go smoothly? (Sometimes the things that went wrong are the most memorable – don’t forget to include them!)
Tell about your wedding ceremony – where it was, who took part in it, and what you remember feeling. What especially stands out in your memory?
Describe your partner at the time of your marriage (include physical, spiritual, emotional, etc.) What characteristics did he/she have that were to play an important part in your marriage?
Describe your goals as a couple and what you envisioned for your future at that point in time.
Did you have a honeymoon? Who made the plans and where did you go? How long were you gone? Share some of the memorable events of your honeymoon.
What surprises did you encounter in marriage? What is one of the first things you learned about your spouse that you hadn’t known?
As you began your marriage, what were the major challenges of starting your life together?
Where did you first live and how did you pay for your expenses? Describe setting up housekeeping in your first home together. Did you rent an apartment? buy a house? live with relatives?
What would a typical day have been like in the first year of your marriage?
When you married, how did you see your role in the relationship? How has your idea of that role changed through the years?
What were some of the adjustments you made? What were some of the most difficult issues to deal with in the early years of marriage?
Recall some of the best times from your early years together. How would you describe your early marriage years?
How did you feel about your in-laws? Give some examples to illustrate how you think they felt about you. Which differences between the two families added to your happiness and which were difficult?
If You Divorced...
What did you think or feel about divorce when you first married? Tell what you feel were the patterns of behavior that contributed to the divorce. What part do you think you played in coming to the point of divorce? What would you have done differently? Tell about making the final decision and what the particular turning point was. What agreements did you make, legal and otherwise. How did your family react? What emotional support did you get from your family? If you had children at the time, how were you seeing the effects of divorce on their lives? How did you help your children handle the divorce and the changes it brought? Recall a time when your children tried to help you during this time. How did your family react? How were your friends a help? How did your financial status change after divorce? What was that like? How was your experience different from what you thought it would be? What was most difficult for you after the divorce? How was your life better? How have your feelings and attitudes changed toward your ex-spouse since the divorce? Since your divorce, what have you learned that would have made a difference in your marriage relationship? What was most helpful to your recovery from divorce? What did you learn about yourself during this time? How have you changed?
If Your Partner Died...
How old were you when you became a widow or widower? As you write this, how long has it been since then? How long had you been together? Tell the circumstances of the death. What do you remember of that immediate time? What do you remember thinking and feeling? What specifically helped you get through the first weeks? How did your family members handle this loss? How did your beliefs affect how you coped? What resources did you have for bearing your loss? Which feelings took you by surprise? What would you have liked others to have done at this time? What could you have done for yourself that would have made it more bearable? What offers of help do wish you had accepted? What were some of the unexpected acts or words that you appreciated? What advice helped you? What advice would you give someone during the first few months following a partner’s death? As life "appeared" to get back to normal, what was the hardest part? Tell about the stages of grieving as you experienced them. These days, when are the times you are filed with a sense of your partner? Which are the times you like to recall? What have you discovered about yourself through this journey? How have you changed?
How did you propose? (Or were you proposed to?) Describe your feelings as you proposed/accepted proposal. How long was your engagement? What do you remember about the steps that led to marriage? Did you have any doubts or "second thoughts" – if so, share them.
Did your family like your intended spouse? What was the reaction of your parents when you told them you were getting married? How did your brothers and sisters react? Your other relatives?
Can you vividly recall your wedding day? When and where did it take place? What do your remember about the preparations for your wedding day. Describe your feelings. Who attended? Were you nervous? Did all the arrangements go smoothly? (Sometimes the things that went wrong are the most memorable – don’t forget to include them!)
Tell about your wedding ceremony – where it was, who took part in it, and what you remember feeling. What especially stands out in your memory?
Describe your partner at the time of your marriage (include physical, spiritual, emotional, etc.) What characteristics did he/she have that were to play an important part in your marriage?
Describe your goals as a couple and what you envisioned for your future at that point in time.
Did you have a honeymoon? Who made the plans and where did you go? How long were you gone? Share some of the memorable events of your honeymoon.
What surprises did you encounter in marriage? What is one of the first things you learned about your spouse that you hadn’t known?
As you began your marriage, what were the major challenges of starting your life together?
Where did you first live and how did you pay for your expenses? Describe setting up housekeeping in your first home together. Did you rent an apartment? buy a house? live with relatives?
What would a typical day have been like in the first year of your marriage?
When you married, how did you see your role in the relationship? How has your idea of that role changed through the years?
What were some of the adjustments you made? What were some of the most difficult issues to deal with in the early years of marriage?
Recall some of the best times from your early years together. How would you describe your early marriage years?
How did you feel about your in-laws? Give some examples to illustrate how you think they felt about you. Which differences between the two families added to your happiness and which were difficult?
If You Divorced...
What did you think or feel about divorce when you first married? Tell what you feel were the patterns of behavior that contributed to the divorce. What part do you think you played in coming to the point of divorce? What would you have done differently? Tell about making the final decision and what the particular turning point was. What agreements did you make, legal and otherwise. How did your family react? What emotional support did you get from your family? If you had children at the time, how were you seeing the effects of divorce on their lives? How did you help your children handle the divorce and the changes it brought? Recall a time when your children tried to help you during this time. How did your family react? How were your friends a help? How did your financial status change after divorce? What was that like? How was your experience different from what you thought it would be? What was most difficult for you after the divorce? How was your life better? How have your feelings and attitudes changed toward your ex-spouse since the divorce? Since your divorce, what have you learned that would have made a difference in your marriage relationship? What was most helpful to your recovery from divorce? What did you learn about yourself during this time? How have you changed?
If Your Partner Died...
How old were you when you became a widow or widower? As you write this, how long has it been since then? How long had you been together? Tell the circumstances of the death. What do you remember of that immediate time? What do you remember thinking and feeling? What specifically helped you get through the first weeks? How did your family members handle this loss? How did your beliefs affect how you coped? What resources did you have for bearing your loss? Which feelings took you by surprise? What would you have liked others to have done at this time? What could you have done for yourself that would have made it more bearable? What offers of help do wish you had accepted? What were some of the unexpected acts or words that you appreciated? What advice helped you? What advice would you give someone during the first few months following a partner’s death? As life "appeared" to get back to normal, what was the hardest part? Tell about the stages of grieving as you experienced them. These days, when are the times you are filed with a sense of your partner? Which are the times you like to recall? What have you discovered about yourself through this journey? How have you changed?
1 comment:
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