Seven Steps to Prepare Your History for Publication

A quality personal history is well-organized, understandable, and attractively presented. You have spent many hours and great effort to produce this labor of love. Take the time and make the effort now to produce a quality finished product that will be read and enjoyed by your family! Each of the following seven steps is time-consuming, so plan to take the time necessary for a completed project you will be proud of.

Hopefully this project has been of benefit to you. As I have "relived" many moments in my life by writing about them, I have laughed, I have cried, I have gained insight and realizations I had not considered before, and most of all, I have enjoyed the ride all over again!

Step 1: Proofread and Polish Your Writing.

Review your manuscript for content. Does it flow? Are there awkward sentences that need to be reworked? Is the vocabulary appropriate for your audience? Do you have good transition between sections, chapters, or stories?

Joan R. Neubauer gives us her ‘Tricks of the Trade’ for better writing. She advises, "As you read through your history, polish your writing by considering these things: 1) Look for verbs that end in "ing." If possible, change them to the simple past tense – that is, verbs that end with "d" or "ed." 2) Look for verbs that are part of the verb "to be" such as am, is, are, was, were, and been. These verbs make your writing passive. Try to use active, past tense verbs to make your writing more definite, exciting, and strong. 3) Look for adjectives and adverbs. Do not overuse them, and don’t use them in long strings. 4) Avoid the use of unnecessary words. 5) Be descriptive. Show the reader what you are talking about. 6) Avoid long, drawn-out sentences that string many thoughts together. 7) Try to vary your vocabulary. Have a good dictionary and thesaurus handy; use the tools of your software program to search for alternative words."

Use the spell checker and grammar check tools available in your word processing program. When checking punctuation, use the "search feature" (ctrl-F) to look for a space before periods or commas (commonly happens if you cut and paste text); look for the closed parenthesis mark ")" and check to make sure punctuation marks are inside the ) mark if the entire sentence is contained within the parentheses, or outside otherwise; look for mismatched pairs of parentheses, square brackets, quotation marks and dashes (that’s 7 searches in all – once each for (, ), [, ], ", ", and –).

You may wish to print a manuscript draft. I find it easier to see my mistakes when they are in print rather than viewing my computer screen. Make a duplicate copy of your file in another document. Change the page setup with margins of 1.5". Change the font to a fixed pitch font (like Courier New in 12 points). Change line spacing to 1.5 or 2. Print. You now how an old-fashioned "typed" manuscript to edit with plenty of space for editorial comments.

It would be best to have another person proofread your manuscript looking for typographical errors, spelling, vocabulary, grammar, and punctuation issues. Be open to their suggestions, but make sure to only make changes you feel comfortable with.

I personally have a difficult time catching my own writing errors, however, if I take the time to read it out loud, I am better able to identify errors and problems. Another trick is to read backwards. This is the best way to edit for grammar, punctuation, and typos. Begin at the back of the book. Examine the last sentence. If it’s okay, examine the next-to-the-last sentence, and so on. Go through sentence by sentence – not paragraph by paragraph – so you don’t fall into the trap of reading for meaning when you’re supposed to be focusing on grammar, punctuation, and typos.

Step 2: Format Your History

Take some time and browse through autobiographies and biographies in your local library to see what you like and what you don’t like with regards to their layout and format. Look at how they deal with font, page layout, page numbering, and chapter titles.

Font: Each font has character, personality, and a proper use. For a family history, you want a serif font that is dignified, respectable, and above all, readable. Many people prefer a font based on Times Roman because of its familiarity. Originally designed for a newspaper, its style has become widely used. Fonts such as Ariel, Bodoni, Garamond, Goudy, and Verdana are popular choices simply because they are readable. Whatever you decide, choose only one font to use throughout your history. The only exception to this would be the font for your chapter titles and cover page; you can be creative or use decorative fonts in those instances, but otherwise, keep the text of your history in the same font throughout.

Layout: Full page text or 2 columns? Justified or unjustified? Nonjustified text is easier to read. Justification sometimes gets in the way of comprehension if the amount of space between words is too great. This is especially a problem for fixed pitch fonts, large type sizes, narrow line lengths (as in two-column formats) and around illustrations. The trend in many professional writing groups is toward nonjustified text, also called ragged right or left justified.

Margins: You may want to increase the margin on the inner side of each page so when you bind your book the writing is not in the "gutter." Word processing programs can easily adjust the inner margin for you, but you need to tell it to do so. Look on your "page setup" screen and look for layout or margins. There may be a section to "mirror margins" or "book style;" you can then determine the size of the margin for the gutter.

Heading and Subheadings: No one wants to sit down and read page after page of text. Break it up with headings and subheadings. Headings should appear on a line by themselves. You may want these headings to appear in your table of contents; most software can generate the table of contents headings automatically.

Paragraph spacing: There are two styles. An opening tab of ½" or five spaces (informal style) or a blank line between paragraphs. Both are acceptable, so choose one and be consistent in using it throughout your manuscript.

Page numbers: In books, the left page number is always even and the right page number is always odd. Thus, page 1 is always a right-handed page.

Chapters: The chapter title is normally given special typographical treatment. Some of these treatments include flush left, flush right, or centering the text; putting ruler line above and/or below the title; using a different font; and emphasizing with bold, italics, small caps, or a larger point size. There should be extra space above and below the title. You might place the title a third of the way down the page (or about 1-2" from the top of the page).

Decide if you want new chapters to always start on the odd-numbered pages. The consistency helps the reader locate information. The right page is favored as the opening page of each chapter.

The first page of a chapter requires special treatment. We give the first page of a chapter a special appearance in order to help the reader find the beginning of a chapter easily. You might consider using a Drop Cap for the first paragraph.

Step 3: Add Photos

Scan photographs and other text-style documents at 300 dpi, generally scanned as a ".jpg" file type. Use image-editing software as needed to rotate, crop, or resize the photo.

When adding photos to your document, be sure to "anchor" them to the page or paragraph by using the "position" function of your particular word processor.

Add borders to set your pictures off and separate them from the text on the page. Consider using frames or decorative borders around documents such as certificates, announcements, newspaper articles or other "text-type" images.

Make sure you add captions for each photo, explaining who, what, and when. Captions generally go below the photo, either centered or left-justified. The font size may be smaller, bolded, and/or italicized to set it off as different from the text on the page.

Be selective in the type and number of photos you select. Remember, this is your history, not a scrapbook! Too many pictures are difficult for word processing programs to handle, causing them to be sluggish or even to crash. Be sure to divide your history into chapters, making each chapter a separate file. This will greatly help your word processor deal with the added memory needed for photos embedded in your text file.

Step 4: Edit/Proofread

Because you may have modified your page layout by adding titles, page numbers, photos, and so forth, you need to proofread and edit your manuscript again. Look for paragraph "orphans and widows" (single lines at the bottom or top of a page). You can adjust the page break to make sure there are at least 2 lines of a paragraph left on the page, or you may try to rewrite the paragraph to change the line count.

Use page break commands (ctrl-enter) if you want to force a line or photo to another page rather than just repeatedly hitting the Enter key. This will eliminate problems down the line.

Step 5: Additional Sections to Include

Your history may include one or more of the following sections. (This list of additional sections to include is taken from a publication entitled Preparing a Family History for Publication, prepared by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and can be found at FamilySearch.org in the Resource Guide section or follow this link http://www.familysearch.org/Eng/Search/RG/frameset_rg.asp?Dest=G1&Aid=&Gid=&Lid=&Sid=&Did=&Juris1=&Event=&Year=&Gloss=&Sub=&Tab=&Entry=&Guide=Outline_-_Preparing_a_Family_History.ASP)

Title Page: The title page is generally the first page after the cover. It contains the title and, if applicable, the subtitle, your name as the author, as well as the place and date of publication.

Copyright Statement: Copyright statements generally appear on the back of the title page. They generally include information that tells readers when the history was published and who to contact for more information. A sample copyright statement is:
© 2007 by John Brown. All rights reserved.

Table of Contents: The table of contents lists chapters and sections of your history, and gives their page numbers. It also serves as an outline of your history and guides readers to the sections of most interest to them. Your word processor can generate this for you.

Other Preliminary Sections: These are optional pages that you may want to include.
Dedication - A dedication contains the name of the person to whom you are dedicating your history and a brief statement explaining why. It is usually written on the page after the copyright page.

List of Illustrations - A list of illustrations contains the name and page number of each picture, map, or illustration in the history.

Foreword, Preface, and Acknowledgments - A forward is a statement about the history written by someone other than you. A preface is a statement written by you and describes why you wrote your history, shows gratitude to persons or institutions who helped, etc.

Final Sections: These are optional sections as well, found at the back of your book.
Appendices - material or information not essential to the main body of the text but may be useful to readers who want more specific information about a topic. This might include certificates you have received throughout your life, talks you have given, papers you have written, etc.

Index - An index should list all of the individuals, place names, and subjects mentioned in your history.

Step 6: Final Edit/Proofread

Don’t forget to run the spell checker on your introduction, acknowledgment, list of illustrations, and all other pieces of text you have created. Check your titles, subtitles, headings and any headers or footers separately for grammar and typos. Do a final check of each page to make sure you have been consistent in every chapter, check to make sure all photos are captioned consistently, look at page numbers to be sure they are consecutive. Create your table of contents and index (if used).

Step 7: Publish the Final Product

Self-publishing with modern technology and tools is easier than ever before. You have the option of printing right from your home computer and printer, or taking it to a print center in town to copy and bind. Many print centers offer a spiral binding or a thermal plastic binding. You may want to put your history in a 3-ring binder and share it that way.

However, I would suggest that you at least get a quote from a local printer of what it would cost for them to professionally print and bind your book. There are also a variety of options available on the Internet. The cost difference between you producing your own copies versus a local printer or online "print on demand" service may be minimal or it may be quite a lot, but the you must weigh the differences found in the quality of your finished product.

I must admit that I am not an expert in this area as I am still in the process of doing this for myself. I have looked at http://www.lulu.com/ and would recommend that you at least look there. I’m sure you can find a number of "print on demand" companies online who do the same type of thing. The nice thing about these "print on demand" companies is that you do not have to order and print large quantities of books – only the number you desire. There is a difference in the cost per book based on how many you order, but that is true whether you print and bind your own books or send them to a printer or do it online.

If you decide to print on your home ink-jet or laser printer, make sure you have selected Best Quality printing for your printer. If your photos are scanned as color photos but you are printing in black and white, use the option to print in grayscale rather than color. Use a heavier weight paper such as 24-pound paper.

If you decide to go with a local printer, check with them to see how they want you to bring in your manuscript – they may want it in PDF format, they may want an electronic file, or the pages already printed out.

Reflections

More questions to give others a peek into who you are....

What and who have been the greatest influences on your life and in what ways? Share how different people have helped bring out parts of your self.

What were some times when you followed your intuition and what times did you hold back?

What disadvantages or limitations have you faced in your life, and how have you dealt with them?

When was a time your courage sustained you?

Describe some acts of kindness or compassion you have experienced.

What are the thoughts and memories that bring tears?

What gladdens your heart?

What is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to you? The worst?

Share a principle you have learned or taught.

What is the biggest lesson in life you have found to be true?

What is your secret for happiness?

What is comforting to you physically, mentally, spiritually?

What are you afraid of?

Where is the most exciting place you have ever been to? Tell about it, what you were doing there, who you were with, etc.

List one word on how to live successfully. (Then be sure to expound on that 1 word, and tells us the how and why)

What is the most important lesson, message, or advice you have learned that you would like to pass on to others to profit by?

How would you like to be remembered?

What would you like to be remembered for?

Being a Grandparent

What are your grandchildren’s names, ages, and where do they live?

Where were you, what did you do, and how did you feel when you learned you were a grandparent (or were going to be a grandparent)?

How did you envision yourself as a grandparent?

How are you involved in your grandchildren’s lives? How would you like to be involved?

What is satisfying about being a grandparent? Describe some specific things you like to do as a grandparent.

How did your relationship with your child change when you became a grandparent?

How are your attitudes and feelings different as a grandparent than as a parent? What are you doing with your grandchild that you wish you had done with your child? What are your challenges as a grandparent?

What have you learned about your child from seeing them as parents? If asked, what parenting advice would you give?

How would you describe yourself as a grandparent?

Tell something encouraging about each grandchild.

How would you like your grandchildren to remember you?

Later Adult Years

How have you fared with your health? What in the way of a health history would you want younger family members to know: disabilities, allergies, surgeries, accidents, doctors? What formula of living a healthy life would you recommend?

Have you been widowed? What were some of the adjustments you had to make. Describe how you coped with your loneliness.

Did you go back to work? Did you volunteer in some organization? Did you remarry?

What are some of the technological changes that have occurred in your lifetime? Describe some of the progress/changes you have seen regarding science, medicine, education, entertainment, etc.

What is the source of your income? If you are working, tell about your job. If you have retired, tell about the transition from full-time or part-time job to full-time life. What was the hardest part of the adjustment? What are some of the unexpected benefits? What do you enjoy most about not going to your last job? What do you do now that had to put off while you were working?

Tell about special family gatherings and celebrations.

When do you see your extended family? How do you keep in touch?

At this time, how would you describe your spiritual life? What do you need to do to feel you are on your spiritual path?

What changes in priorities have you made for this time of your life?

What matters most to you now and how do you make it part of your daily life?

Which are the values you’ve had that have endured or strengthened as you’ve grown older?

Write about the things that bring you personal satisfaction today.

Okay, you have 5 wishes. They will come true. What are they?

What are you grateful for during this time of your life? Give a sense of why this is important to you now.

Do you fear old age?

Do you have a fear of being a burden, of having to go to a nursing home?

What do you worry about the most now?

What are your views on death and dying?

How do you feel about your life right now?

What are you looking forward to?

The philosopher Will Durant called death the wisest of inventories. "When it comes," he said, "I hope I have the wits and grace to look back gratefully upon life and say to my children and grandchildren, ‘It was good.’"

Middle Adult Years

"Middle age is not the beginning of the end; it is the end of the beginning." – Eric Butterworth

It is during our middle years, our 40s and 50s, that we see the results of the time and energy we’ve given our family, work, community and self.

You might begin this section by "setting the scene." As you think back to your middle-aged years, where were you living? What were the accepted roles for men and women? What political, historical, and cultural happenings were taking place and how do you think they affected your life? List a few examples of popular music, books, entertainment, fashion, cars, and food. Spending $25 on yourself, what could you get? Give some examples of the cost of living.

Describe your family as you entered your middle adult years. Were you married? If you had children, what were their ages? Where were your family members living? How often did you see those who did not live with you? How did those circumstances change in the next two decades?

Describe the major milestones of family life during your 40s and 50s.

Tell about the work you were doing and how you felt about it. How long had you been at this work? How did you get the job, and what were you earning? Concerning your work, what were you planning and hoping for the future?

Who were the significant people in your life during this time? Whom were you closest to? Who were your friends? How did friendships develop and what did you do when you got together? Who were your neighbors, and how did your lives touch?

What kinds of physical activity did you participate in? How did you like to spend time you may have had alone? What did you wish you had more time for? Did you develop any new hobbies, or spend more time with previous hobbies?

Was it a jolt when your children left the nest? How did it happen? How did you deal with it? What new interests did you find to fill that time?

Did you have a "midlife crisis?" Describe it.

Did you notice any changes in your appearance at this time of life? First sign of grayness or wrinkles? What were your feelings? Did this cause you to review your life, to assess your progress and mortality?

Which were some memorable vacations? Tell about other travels you had.

What are your memories of the significant happenings in your life at ths time?

What activities did you share with your family – children? partner? parents? What changes occurred over the years?

How were you involved in the community?

What difficulties did you have to deal with during this time? What were your worries and fears?

What were some of the best times during this period of your life? Give a sense of what you had to be thankful for.

Writing Naturally

Abraham Lincoln was once asked how long a woman’s skirt should be. He replied, "Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting." Lincoln’s statement would be a good guide for any writer. Don’t be concerned with length in your first rough drafts. Let your thoughts flow without interruption. You can always edit this later to remove needless words and paragraphs. Your complete story can be as big or as small as you want it to be. First and foremost, though, it should communicate that most important facts about your life and times.

Someone asked me once, "Should I write as I talk?" Spoken language transferred to paper can sound choppy, with many contractions, incomplete sentences, vague words and repetitions. My advice is this: instead of writing as you talk, try writing as you think. If you do this, your writing will have more clarity and depth, and you will derive still another bonus – you will find you are putting more of your feelings into your writing.

Some of your readers might be children. In fact, you hope this is the case. Even adults are more likely to finish reading what you have written if it is easy to read and sounds natural. Your readers want your history to sound like you.

Use simple, easily understood words. They will help you to express yourself clearly, and your meaning will be better understood by the reader.

Use picture words. Try to get a touch of color into your writing. It takes a little extra effort to turn a plain, general word into one that can come alive in the mind of the reader. It is not just a bird, it is a meadowlark. It is not just a sky, it is a cloudless, azure sky. It is not just a tree, it is a graceful elm. (You get the idea.) Wilfred J. Funk, editor and author, was once asked to choose 10 words in the English language he thought were the most beautiful. He chose: chimes, dawn, golden, hush, lullaby, luminous, melody, mist, murmuring, and tranquil. Note that many of them bring images to the mind.

Look through your writing to find where you simply told the reader what happened. Rewrite that portion, using words that appeal to the readers senses: what the reader can see, hear, feel, smell and taste.

You want your writing to sound natural, you want it to reflect who you are. Here is an activity to help make your writing "natural." Read your writing out loud. Does it feel natural to you? Ask someone else to read aloud what you have written. Did your writing sound the way you wanted it to sound? If some part of what you have written feels awkward, change it until it feels right.

There is no right or wrong way to write your history. The important thing is that you share your experiences, your feelings, and your observations of life. We all hope our readers will find our histories "hard to put down" rather than "hard to pick up," but regardless of our writing style hopefully our stories and experiences enlighten, uplift, and inspire our readers.

Parenthood

Here is an opportunity to share your feelings about being a parent, sharing experiences about each of your children, as well as the changes that were occurring in your life during this new phase of life.

When were your children born? What age were you when your first child was born? How did your family and friends react to the news? Tell about the feelings and dreams you had while awaiting the arrival of each child. What preparations do you remember making for the arrival of each of your children? How did you choose your children’s names?

Tell what you remember of your earliest moments with each child. Describe the day each child arrived. If you adopted children or had stepchildren, provide whatever details you know of their birth.

What were your early surprises about parenthood? How did your family respond to your new child? Who had what responsibilities in caring for your children? What did you most want to be or do as a mother/father? What dreams did you have for your children?

What were some of the pressures in your life that stretched your ability to be the kind of parent you wanted to be?

What did you most like to do together as a family? Recall a summer, fall, winter, and spring memory with your children. How did you spend vacations when your children were young? How did that change through the years? Describe at least one vacation that stands out in your memory.

Which holidays did your family celebrate, and how? Describe some particularly memorable holiday celebrations. How did you celebrate birthdays?

Describe family mealtimes when your children were young. Who was there, what were some of your family’s favorite foods? And what did you talk about? What were meals like as your children got older?

Which were your easiest years as parents? Which were the hardest? Reminisce about several from each. As a parent, which were the most difficult issues of early childhood? The teen years? How did your financial circumstances affect your parenting and family life?

When your children were growing up, what interests did you have beyond work and family? What would you do to find time for yourself? What do you wish you had done more of just for yourself?

What did you feel was important to teach your children? What did you learn from your children?
What were the major crises you faced?

Which childhood diseases did your children have? What were their most serious illnesses and how were they treated?

At what times during their childhood were you and your children apart? What were the circumstances and what was that like for you?

Where did you live? When and where did you move, and what were the circumstances?

What schools did your children attend, from preschool through high school? Where were the schools located, and how did your children get there? What was your opinion about the education your children were getting at school? How were you involved in your child’s school experience?

What were some of your children’s out-of-school activities? Music or dance lessons? Sports? Hobbies? Clubs? Other organizational activities? Other individual activities?

How did you respond to your children’s tastes in clothing and music?

Tell something you’d like to do again with each of your children. Tell of something you wish you would have done more often.

How do you feel your work affected your life with your children?

At what points did you feel your children were launched into the world, and how did you feel at those times?

What have been the major concerns you’ve had regarding your adult children? Which of your adult children’s difficult times have also been hard for you? As specifically as you can recall, what have you tried to do during these times? What gives you special pleasure in your relationships with your adult children?

What have been your greatest joys as a parent? Greatest struggles/challenges?

How do you think your children were influenced by the time and place in which they grew up?

As parents, we all have some regrets. Which are the scenes that come back to you that you still regret and how would you replay them today?

What would you like your children to know about you?

Tell of something you admire about each of your children.

What do you hope each of your children will always know?

Include your Feelings in Your Writing

"To know how to begin to write is a great art," says author and editor Jacques Barzun. "Convince yourself that you are working in clay, not marble; on paper, not eternal bronze; let the first sentence be as stupid as it wishes...just put it down and then another...."

Make no mistake, the history you are writing will be a document of record. It will probably remain in your family a long time. For this reason, it is important that you include a reasonable number of specific and accurate facts. However, this does not mean it needs to be choked with statistics and data. The hard facts such as full names, dates, places, ages, and relationships should be woven into your writing gradually as you go along. This makes for easier reading.

If your intent is to inform, you need to include the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the story. If your intent is to illuminate and entertain, you will take more time to dig into the background of the story, you will include vivid descriptions, moving narration, and interesting anecdotes. Hopefully, your objective will be to inform, enlighten, and entertain your family as you narrate the high points of your life.

At some point you may want to ask yourself, "Why am I writing my personal history?" "Who is (or will be) my audience?" "What do I want accomplish by sharing my insights, feelings, and the events of my life?"

Will others "learn through your mistakes?" Will you share enough of your personality through your writing so your readers feel like they know you better after reading your story? Get your feelings into it. Your inner reaction to what has happened to you and how you perceive a situation can help to give your history more warmth, depth, and meaning. Many of us, because of the times in which we were raised, deny our feelings. We find it difficult to reveal our inner thoughts, to express our emotions, beliefs, and attitudes.

Our history, written from the vantage point of a lifetime of experience, provides us with an ideal opportunity to express how we feel about life, love, and our loved ones. It provides us with a chance to say some of the things we have always wanted to say but never have. Here we can express our gratitude to those who gave us a boost along the way. Here, when opportunity presents itself, we can reveal our convictions regarding the world we live in, marriage, religion, health, death, relatives, friends, and life’s values. Trust your feelings – they are usually right. Allowing them to be reflected in your history will add another dimension to it.

The more you reveal of yourself the more readily your reader can identify with you. Constant sweetness in your history may cause the reader to wonder if you lived in the real world. Reality is showing the warts as well as the dimples. Should you include the tears as well as the laughter? Absolutely! Do you want your story to be interesting and readable? Then let it honestly reflect life as you lived and observed it.

When you come to parts of your life that were difficult or challenging, you need to decide whether or not to include them in your history. Letting others see how you dealt with a problem or overcame a challenge can be a great blessing in their lives as they deal with similar circumstances. You might ask yourself questions like these: "How significant is this event in my life when I compare it to all the others?" "Has it changed the course of my life?" "Do I tend to exaggerate its importance?" "Is it something my family should really know about in order to understand me better?" "Is there some point I want to make here that could be a valuable lesson for my descendants?" You, and only you, can decide what is appropriate to include in your history.

In advocating that you let your hair down, I am not referring to very personal, traumatic moments or circumstances in your life that you cannot (and should not) bring forth. I am simply suggesting that you allow your reader to see you during those moments of give-and-take as you struggled through your life. I do not urge you to write anything that would hurt or embarrass others. There is no need to include material that might provoke family quarrels. Nor is it necessary to name names or be gory in our descriptions. I believe it is possible to describe some of the most heartbreaking moments in life with balanced, tactful writing. Remember, you can use delicate language about an indelicate subject.

Many times in writing about our lives we come to an emotional episode that tends to block us, or an experience that is too painful to deal with (yet). Maybe you just need to skip it and go on. Gradually you may come back and be able to write about the experience and your feelings, how you reacted, and the consequences. And remember this....just because you wrote it doesn’t mean you have to include it in your final history. Sometimes the actual writing of that experience is all you need to get beyond the experience. You may end up including a brief synopsis of the event in your history, or maybe you’ll feel it appropriate to include the entire thing you wrote – it is totally up to you as this is your story!

The process of looking back on one’s life and committing it to paper can bring you new insights, a rediscovery of yourself, and maybe a different perspective of your life. The simple act of writing about our lives provides us an opportunity to "take stock of our lives," to better understand ourselves, and to discern more clearly what our life has really meant.

Courtship & Marriage

Describe how you met your spouse. Why were you first attracted to each other? Was it "love at first sight?" Why do you think you fell in love? What were you both doing at that time in your lives? Describe your courtship. Tell of some of the dates and memorable experiences you had together. How long was your courtship? How did you decide he/she was the "right one" for you?

How did you propose? (Or were you proposed to?) Describe your feelings as you proposed/accepted proposal. How long was your engagement? What do you remember about the steps that led to marriage? Did you have any doubts or "second thoughts" – if so, share them.

Did your family like your intended spouse? What was the reaction of your parents when you told them you were getting married? How did your brothers and sisters react? Your other relatives?

Can you vividly recall your wedding day? When and where did it take place? What do your remember about the preparations for your wedding day. Describe your feelings. Who attended? Were you nervous? Did all the arrangements go smoothly? (Sometimes the things that went wrong are the most memorable – don’t forget to include them!)

Tell about your wedding ceremony – where it was, who took part in it, and what you remember feeling. What especially stands out in your memory?

Describe your partner at the time of your marriage (include physical, spiritual, emotional, etc.) What characteristics did he/she have that were to play an important part in your marriage?

Describe your goals as a couple and what you envisioned for your future at that point in time.

Did you have a honeymoon? Who made the plans and where did you go? How long were you gone? Share some of the memorable events of your honeymoon.

What surprises did you encounter in marriage? What is one of the first things you learned about your spouse that you hadn’t known?

As you began your marriage, what were the major challenges of starting your life together?
Where did you first live and how did you pay for your expenses? Describe setting up housekeeping in your first home together. Did you rent an apartment? buy a house? live with relatives?

What would a typical day have been like in the first year of your marriage?

When you married, how did you see your role in the relationship? How has your idea of that role changed through the years?

What were some of the adjustments you made? What were some of the most difficult issues to deal with in the early years of marriage?

Recall some of the best times from your early years together. How would you describe your early marriage years?

How did you feel about your in-laws? Give some examples to illustrate how you think they felt about you. Which differences between the two families added to your happiness and which were difficult?

If You Divorced...
What did you think or feel about divorce when you first married? Tell what you feel were the patterns of behavior that contributed to the divorce. What part do you think you played in coming to the point of divorce? What would you have done differently? Tell about making the final decision and what the particular turning point was. What agreements did you make, legal and otherwise. How did your family react? What emotional support did you get from your family? If you had children at the time, how were you seeing the effects of divorce on their lives? How did you help your children handle the divorce and the changes it brought? Recall a time when your children tried to help you during this time. How did your family react? How were your friends a help? How did your financial status change after divorce? What was that like? How was your experience different from what you thought it would be? What was most difficult for you after the divorce? How was your life better? How have your feelings and attitudes changed toward your ex-spouse since the divorce? Since your divorce, what have you learned that would have made a difference in your marriage relationship? What was most helpful to your recovery from divorce? What did you learn about yourself during this time? How have you changed?

If Your Partner Died...
How old were you when you became a widow or widower? As you write this, how long has it been since then? How long had you been together? Tell the circumstances of the death. What do you remember of that immediate time? What do you remember thinking and feeling? What specifically helped you get through the first weeks? How did your family members handle this loss? How did your beliefs affect how you coped? What resources did you have for bearing your loss? Which feelings took you by surprise? What would you have liked others to have done at this time? What could you have done for yourself that would have made it more bearable? What offers of help do wish you had accepted? What were some of the unexpected acts or words that you appreciated? What advice helped you? What advice would you give someone during the first few months following a partner’s death? As life "appeared" to get back to normal, what was the hardest part? Tell about the stages of grieving as you experienced them. These days, when are the times you are filed with a sense of your partner? Which are the times you like to recall? What have you discovered about yourself through this journey? How have you changed?

Including Historical Perspective in your Personal History

Most people underestimate themselves. There are golden nuggets of personal history waiting to be mined out of every life. First of all, consider that we have been living through one of the most event-packed periods of our history. We have seen U.S. Presidents come and go. We have been through wars, depressions, recessions, and inflation. We have gone from splitting wood to splitting the atom, from crystal sets to satellite TV, from mustard plasters to heart transplants, and from washtubs, iceboxes, blackboard arithmetic, and crude biplanes to washing machines, refrigerators, computers, and space flights to the moon! You have seen all this firsthand. You have learned much, you have struggled through it, raised families in the midst of it, and you have thoughts and feelings about it. This is now your chance to tell about it.

Link your life story to history. You have lived during a time of important historical events. When you link what was happening to you to such events you are placing your life in time and place. Who was President when you were born? Where were you when Lindbergh crossed the Atlantic, when Prohibition ended, during the Great Depression, at the time of Pearl Harbor, D-Day in France, the stock market crash, the day President John Kennedy was shot, the day when U.S. astronaut Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, the events of 9/11?

There are wonderful resources on the Internet to help you “remember” some of the events of your lifetime. Check out the following:

http://www.1970sflashback.com/ Substitute year(s) of choice)

http://www.fact-index.com/ Use Fact Index search field to find a year or span of years

http://www.wikipedia.org/ In the Search field, type in 1960s (or any year of choice) and it will bring up all kinds of topics (cultural events, social events, world history, etc.)

http://www.crazyfads.com/ Put in particular decade and see what the latest fad was!

http://www.ourtimelines.com/ Create a timeline for yourself and see what else was going on in the world. Also check out who your contemporaries were!

http://dmarie.com/timecap/ Enables users to create "Time Capsules" for any date in history from 1800 to 2001. Results include headlines, famous birthdays, songs, TV shows, books, and toys for the date given.

www.fiftiesweb.com/fifties.htm A lot of stuff about the 1950s, but also some of the 60s and 70s.

http://www.google.com/ Use the Google search engine using key words such as fashion trends 1960s, or slang terms 1950s, etc.

You will find ingenious ways to include historical background information in your life history. In doing so, you add more color to your history by showing how your life has paralleled such important historical happenings and what impacts they may have had on you and your life. Help your reader experience history as you saw it!

Young Adult Years

After leaving high school, it’s all about “going out on your own” and creating your own independence. In our culture, this is a time when we take on adult responsibilities and commitments. Share your feeling of “being an adult” and what that meant for you.

What was it like for you to leave home? Who helped you prepare to go and in what way? Were you off to school? A mission? A job? Or just to an apartment to be on your own?

If you stayed at home, what was your family life like? What advice did your parents give you? What rules of the house did they have – did the rules change once you graduated from high school? Did your relationship with your parents change in any way?

Who were your friends during those days? What sort of leisure things did you do? What transportation did you have and what did it cost? Tell about any travels you had. Recall some of the things that were new to your life during these years. Tell of something you did that was adventurous. Tell of something that increased your confidence.

When did you begin to feel you were an adult? What hopes did you have for your future? What fears or worries did you have? What was most important to you? What new realizations came to you? How did your priorities change? Do you recall what goals you set for yourself during these years? How close did you come to realizing your dreams? Were you very idealistic then? How did those ideals face in the light of later experience? Did you think about politics or causes then?

Did you continue schooling? What school did you choose and why? Where was it located? What was your major or what subjects did you take? Did you live on campus or off? What were some of your extracurricular activities, or activities on campus? Did you work to put yourself through school? If so, what were your jobs? How much did you earn? Did your family help with finances? Tell about your experiences of learning, both in the classroom and out. Did you room with others? What were your experiences like of living with other people, cooking your own meals, budgeting your finances, etc. Did you receive any special honors in school? Did you graduate? With what degree or certificate? If not, tell what happened. Describe what you think higher education did for you.

Did you serve in the military? What branch were you in? Why did you go in? How long did you serve? Where were you living when you entered the service? Where did you undergo basic training? Where did you travel to in the military? What was your rank? Your pay? What were your duties? Were you in combat? Where? Did you study while in the service or did you receive specialized training? If so, describe what and where. Looking back, how do you value your military service? Was it helpful to you?

Did you serve a mission? Tell about receiving your mission call, your preparations, and who helped you as you prepared to enter the mission field. What was life like in the MTC (or LTM)? What were the highlights and lessons learned at the MTC? Where did you serve? What was mission life like? Describe the physical boundaries of your mission. Who was your Mission President? How did you perceive him and what were your experiences with him? Tell about each area in which you served – the Branch/Ward, the members, the converts. Describe your activities as a missionary – did you do door-to-door tracting, street boards, member referrals? Did your mission have a special program you used to contact and/or teach people? Who were your companions? What special spiritual experiences did you have on your mission? What were the highest highs and lowest lows of your missionary experience? What did you learn on your mission? Who were the individuals who had the greatest influence or impact on your mission (positive and negative)? What was it like to return home from your mission? What adjustments did you have to make? What testimony-building experiences would you like to share?

Tell about your jobs and work experience during this time. Were any of your jobs things that led to a career?

Help your readers to see and understand your successes, struggles and fears, your joys and pains. Be generous, sharing your thoughts and feelings about becoming an adult and giving your reader insight into how you became the person that you are.

Desire, Dedication & Determination

When John Kelley (age 73) finished his 50th running of the 26-mile Boston Marathon he was interviewed by reporters. "What keeps you going like this?" he was asked. Kelley mopped is brow and replied: "I believe in the 3 Ds." "What are the 3 Ds?" "Desire, dedication, and determination," he replied.

How are you doing with continuing to write your history? Often when we first begin the task, it is easy – we are excited to start and have great plans! But as time goes on, it gets harder to continue our task, life tends to get in the way, and our project gets shuffled to the side. If you have not completed (or maybe not even started) last month’s task of writing about your Birth and Early Childhood, don’t be discouraged! Find a topic that interests you and begin there. Rededicate yourself to what you want to accomplish. Determine a specific time to work on your history. Incorporate the 3 Ds in your goal to write your history!

It might help to break the main topic down into separate "bites" or episodes. You can’t include everything that has happened in your life. In writing the story of your life, you are painting scenes, one story at a time. It is important that you write your history one episode at a time, one bite at a time.

It is not necessarily the only way to go about the task at hand, but I believe that doing it piece by piece has much to recommend. By focusing on one subject at a time you can bring forth more about you on that subject. Thus you avoid rambling across many other subjects that may deserve richer treatment that just a few paragraphs in passing. If you find yourself rambling, try this exercise. Place a title of your topic or episode at the top of your paper and avoid wandering away from that topic.

By writing your history in separate "bites" or episodes, they should each stand on its own. Therefore you can place them in any order that feels good to you, without the need for transition from one to another. When describing a particular stage of life, there are many "episodes" and experiences that you can write about. Don’t feel like you have to write everything in strict chronological order. It is better to tell the story about an incident, and then place it in the order you want among your many other episodes.

Another good reason for breaking your personal history down into parts is that you make it easier for a member of your family to read it.

Remember the 3 D's - Desire, Dedication & Determination! You can do it!

Adolescence - Teen Years

When you respond to the questions in “Adolescence,” remember that this section of your story is where young people will turn, looking for fellowship in their suddenly unfamiliar world. So often they do not know what, or know how, to talk to their parents about what they are feeling, but they do want a safe place to hear someone’s truthful coming-to-terms with living through this time – someone who has “been there, done that.”

Describe what you were like as a teenager. What impression does your family have of you as a teenager? Were you particularly conscious of your appearance at this time – your clothes, hair, etc.? What did you do about it? What did you like or dislike about yourself? What did you value as a teenager?

As you look back, would you say your teen years were your most difficult ones? Or the most fun? Did you have trouble “finding yourself”?

What are some of the things that happened in your teens that you remember to this day? Embarrassing, funny, sad, or otherwise?

What was your family life like at this time? What work was your father in? Did you resent authority? How did you get along with your parents, brothers, and sisters? Were you close to your relatives? What were some of the rules your parents set up for you in your home? How did your relationship with your mother and father change during your adolescence? Recall as specifically as you can some time spent with your mother or father when you were a teenager.

Imagine your teenage self standing in front of your school. Walk through the door – what do you hear, what and whom do you see? What is the general feeling you have? As you look at the rooms where you sat, what specific memories come back? What stories can you tell about how you were encouraged or discouraged by your teachers? How did you like school during these years? What were your favorite subjects? What school activities did you take part in? Did you receive any special honors? What teachers do you especially remember? Who were your special friends? Describe what clubs or extra-curricular activities you were involved in at school.

How did you typically spend Saturday nights or Sundays as a teenager? Tell about a crush you had. Describe a first date with someone or special time spent with someone you liked. Did you date much? Where did you go, what did you do? How much money did you spend on a typical date? What was your parents’ attitude regarding dating?

What part-time jobs did you have? What was your first job? Which was the one you liked the best? Tell about it – the pay, the hours, your feelings. Did any of these jobs lead to something bigger for you?

Who were your idols during these years? In sports, in the movies, in school, in your neighborhood, etc.

What were your favorite sports, hobbies as a youth? What did you excel in?

What ambitions and dreams did you have about the future? Did you yearn for something to be different in the life you were leading? Describe what you were feeling.

In whom did you confide? Who were some of the people you admired at this time?

Did you like dancing? What kind? Who taught you? What was your favorite kind of music? Did you sing or learn to play an instrument?

When and how did you learn to drive? What rules were given to you about cars? Describe your experience of learning to drive a car. Who taught you to drive? Whose car was it? What kind? Where did you go?

What year did you leave school? If you graduated, tell what you remember about the ceremony and any special activities associated with it. How do you remember feeling about this ending and beginning? If you left school before graduation, what were the circumstances? How do you remember feeling about this ending and beginning?

During this period can you pick out one or two people who had the greatest influence on your life? Tell about them. How did they help you? Name something you learned that helped you in the years to follow.

What was the most difficult part of these years and what or who helped you move through it?

Recall something you felt was a triumph during your teenage years.

Tell your reader about the world around you by describing the kinds of clothes young people liked to wear, the movies/games/sports/music/etc. popular with your peers, your transportation, your favorite food and drink. What were some of the fads at the time? Describe some of the “slang” or “jargon” you used as a teen. Tell about the historical, political, and cultural events taking place during your teen years, telling how you were affected by them.

"The past sharpens perspective, warns of pitfalls, and helps to point the way." –Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Writing Tip #2: Begin Triggering Memories

Here are some suggestions you can do to begin triggering memories about your past:

•Create a separate piece of paper for each time frame of your life, i.e., Beginnings/Childhood, Teen Years, Early Adult Years including mission and college years, Courtship/Marriage, Being a Parent, Middle Adult Years, Being a Grandparent, Personal Reflections and Interesting Tidbits.

Use these sheets of paper to jot down your memories as you go through some of the exercises listed below. Use short descriptions and key words that will help you recall the incident when you come back to the list to begin writing your story.

• Go through your photo albums and scrapbooks. Pictures will jog memories you might not otherwise remember. As you look at the pictures create lists of people you want to write about (family members, extended family, friends, neighbors), places you have been, experiences you have had. Jot down just enough to remind yourself what it is you wish to write about when you come back to this list later on. The trick is to just get as much as possible out onto the sheet of paper or computer screen in front of you.

• Find a quiet time (and space). Let your mind just start reflecting on some of your earliest memories. Begin jotting down any and all thoughts that occur to you as you reflect upon each time frame of your life. (You may actually find yourself waking up at night, remembering something about your life that you forgot to include in your list – be prepared with a pencil and paper handy!)

•Talk to your parents, siblings, or other relatives and ask them what they remember about certain times or events in your life.

•Look through your journals, certificates, and awards received. These will bring out a wealth of memories – again, just jot down the key essentials that will remind you of the events when you are ready to write about them. (Use this time now to identify those photos and certificates, etc., that you might like to scan and include in your history.)

• Create lists such as:
• all the schools you attended
• all the places you have lived
• jobs you have held
• church positions in which you have served
• relatives names, family members, etc.

Don’t feel like you have to do this all in one sitting. Let yourself think about your past, it is amazing what will come to mind – just be sure to jot it down so you can later tell your story. You can now sort this information by category so it will be available when you are ready to write about each of those events or categories.

You may or may not want to write your history in chronological order – it’s all up to you. For now just begin writing, share your memories about the event, the person, or the situation. Later, you can put all these events in the order you want.

Good Luck! Get Started! Have FUN!

Your Birth

What do you know about the when, where, and how of your birth? (The hour, the day of the week, the date, your weight, the town, city, county; other details?)

What are some of the things your parents and close relatives may have told you (or written) about your birth?

Were you born in unusual circumstances? In an unusual place? At home, in a hospital, or on the way there?

Did your parents tell you how they came to name you? How do you like your name? Did it give you problems later?

Were you an only child? Were there other children? Were you the oldest, youngest, middle?

How old were your parents at the time of your birth? What work was your father and/or mother engaged in? Would you say they were poor, of modest means, well off?

Did your parents keep a “baby” book? You may find a wealth of information as well as pictures, anecdotes, medical history, special events, etc., recorded there.

Is there something humorous you always say about your birth?

Early Childhood

What little stories have your parents and relatives told you about your early childhood years? How do they remember you as a child?

Where did you live? What was the neighborhood like? Who lived next door?

What was your house like? Describe your house as you remember it...picture in your mind each room of your house and describe what you see.

What are your most vivid recollections of these early years? Do you have any snapshots taken of you then? Describe what you see in them.

What were some of the games you played as a child? Whom did you play with?

Do you remember when brothers and sisters were born in your family? When? Where? Describe your feelings as your new siblings joined the family.

Did you have any illnesses or accidents as a child? Ever go to the hospital?

Did you have a favorite pet as a child? What was its name? Tell about it.

Did you cherish a particular toy as a child?

Can you remember a particular birthday party that was given to you as a child? Did your family have any traditions related to birthdays?

Elementary School and Older Childhood

What were your first impressions as you started school? What do you remember about your first day? Was it a happy beginning or were you tearful and homesick?

Did you go to public school, private school, home school? How far was it from your home? How did you get there?

Did you go home for lunch, bring your lunch, or was there a school cafeteria? What sort of food did you eat?

What classes did you like the most?

Did you have any special interests or talents you were recognized for?

What were some of the games you played during these school years? Did you learn to ride a bike? To skate? To play marbles? etc. Did you play any musical instruments?

Were you awkward as a child? Tall? Short? Fat? Athletic? How did you dress? Were you shy?

How did you get along with your brothers and sisters? How did you get along with other children at school?

Do you remember any of your childhood playmates and friends? What were they names? What did you do when you got together?

What were some of the chores your parents asked you to do as a child? Which ones did you dislike the most? What odd jobs did you do to earn money?

What holiday was the most fun for you? Describe your family traditions related to holidays.

What were some of the important and historical events occurring in your community, state, or country? How did they affect or impact you?

Describe “a day in the life of your mother”. Describe a “day in the life of your father.” (Be sure to include such things as the appliances, tools, methods of work, etc.)

Religious Events

Did you participate in any religious events as a child? This might include a baptism, catechism/confirmation, BarMitzvah or BasMitzvah.

Describe this special event – the day, the place, who was there, and your feelings about your experience. Did you write about this experience in one of your earlier journals? If so, you may want to quote yourself as you share your feelings about this event.

January's Assignment - Who You Are

Sometimes the hardest part of any project is just getting started. Don’t worry about writing style or grammar at this point, just start writing! This month’s assignment is to write something about yourself, your parents, your siblings, grandparents, and any other important relatives in your life. Whew! That sounds like a lot! So here are some ideas to get you going!

Just start telling about YOU. What is your name? Where were you born? What is your birth date? Do you know how you got your name? How do you feel about it? Did you have a nickname? How did you get it? Do you still use it? How would you describe yourself to a total stranger? What is your spouse’s name? When were you married? How many children do you have? How many grandchildren do you have? What are their names?

What are your parents’ names? When and where did they meet?

Describe your mother. What does she look like? What color are her eyes? Hair color? How tall is she? How old is she? How would you describe her personality? Does she have any hobbies? What did you call her while you were growing up? What is your favorite memory of your mother? Where did your mother grow up? Where did she go to school? What kind of a family did she come from?

As if speaking to a close friend, describe your father. What does he look like (physical description)? Eye and hair color? Height? Does he have any distinguishing features? How would you describe his personality? Is he funny? Serious? Does he have any favorite sayings? What is his favorite past-time or hobbies? His favorite meal? Favorite TV show? Favorite football team? What did you call him while you were growing up? How did your school friends view your father? What is your favorite memory of your father?

List your siblings, when they were born and what their order is in the family. What are your favorite memories of each sibling? Were you close? What kind of relationship did you have while growing up? What kind of relationship do you have now that you are adults? Did you get into trouble together, or did you get each other into trouble?

What do you know about your grandparents lives? What do you personally remember about your grandparents? Can you remember any stories you heard about your grandparents when they were children? Do you remember any special stories your grandmother or grandfather told you?

Tell what you know or have heard about any of your ancestors.

Writing Tip #1

If you’re have trouble getting started, set the kitchen timer and write for 15 minutes. You can do anything for 15 minutes. Some days, you won’t hear the timer ring. If you don’t want to write each day, you may want to schedule a specific time each week to work on your history. Schedule it on your calendar, make an appointment with yourself and KEEP THAT APPOINTMENT!

New Year, New Goals

Is this the year you will write your personal history? Each month I will have a topic or category with some "memory triggers" to get you started thinking and writing.

Members of your family want to know more about you than you think. They will treasure every word you write. To them, you are the connection, the bridge between the remarkable past and the present. By writing your history you will be giving to others a gift of hope, of commitment to life and loved ones, a gift of affection. Your history is about the times you’ve live in, the people and events that helped shape you, how and who you’ve loved, what has stirred you, and how you’ve tried.

You may ask yourself, "what would anyone want to know about me?" What indeed! Each of us has an interesting and inspiring life, just waiting to be shared with others. A teenager might want to know, did her grandmother love music, did she dance, and to what music? A young sports enthusiast wonders, what games did grandfather play? A beginning cook longs for his/her mother’s recipes, and wonders if mother remembers any of grandmother’s recipes, or better yet, wrote them down.

We are surprisingly curious about these everyday details. Many of us also long for something more, something deeper. "I wanted to know," one person said, "not just what happened in Mother’s life, but what she felt when it was happening." It is the everyday joys and sorrows as well as the "big events" that provide the fertile connecting ground between generations.

Here is your chance to tell your story – to share your experiences and your feelings about those experiences. Part of your life may already be known to others, but don’t assume that what seems obvious to you will be familiar to them.

As you write your history, this gift you give to others will repay you many times over and could become the gateway to a wider vision of your life. Your reflections and responses can uncover a purpose you may not have know or realized, a resolution and awareness of your life’s fullness.

Good luck as you embark on this journey of writing your history, your Legacy – it will be a treasure for you and your family – the best gift you can give your loved ones!

So get your pencils sharpened or computer keys warmed up and let’s get started!

January: Who You Are
February: Beginnings and Childhood
March: Adolescence
April: Early Adult Years
May: Courtship and Marriage
June: Being a Parent
July: [none]
August: Middle Adult Years
September: Being a Grandparent/Later Adult Years
October: Reflections
November: Putting it All Together and Sharing Your Story