Abraham Lincoln was once asked how long a woman’s skirt should be. He replied, "Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting." Lincoln’s statement would be a good guide for any writer. Don’t be concerned with length in your first rough drafts. Let your thoughts flow without interruption. You can always edit this later to remove needless words and paragraphs. Your complete story can be as big or as small as you want it to be. First and foremost, though, it should communicate that most important facts about your life and times.
Someone asked me once, "Should I write as I talk?" Spoken language transferred to paper can sound choppy, with many contractions, incomplete sentences, vague words and repetitions. My advice is this: instead of writing as you talk, try writing as you think. If you do this, your writing will have more clarity and depth, and you will derive still another bonus – you will find you are putting more of your feelings into your writing.
Some of your readers might be children. In fact, you hope this is the case. Even adults are more likely to finish reading what you have written if it is easy to read and sounds natural. Your readers want your history to sound like you.
Use simple, easily understood words. They will help you to express yourself clearly, and your meaning will be better understood by the reader.
Use picture words. Try to get a touch of color into your writing. It takes a little extra effort to turn a plain, general word into one that can come alive in the mind of the reader. It is not just a bird, it is a meadowlark. It is not just a sky, it is a cloudless, azure sky. It is not just a tree, it is a graceful elm. (You get the idea.) Wilfred J. Funk, editor and author, was once asked to choose 10 words in the English language he thought were the most beautiful. He chose: chimes, dawn, golden, hush, lullaby, luminous, melody, mist, murmuring, and tranquil. Note that many of them bring images to the mind.
Look through your writing to find where you simply told the reader what happened. Rewrite that portion, using words that appeal to the readers senses: what the reader can see, hear, feel, smell and taste.
You want your writing to sound natural, you want it to reflect who you are. Here is an activity to help make your writing "natural." Read your writing out loud. Does it feel natural to you? Ask someone else to read aloud what you have written. Did your writing sound the way you wanted it to sound? If some part of what you have written feels awkward, change it until it feels right.
There is no right or wrong way to write your history. The important thing is that you share your experiences, your feelings, and your observations of life. We all hope our readers will find our histories "hard to put down" rather than "hard to pick up," but regardless of our writing style hopefully our stories and experiences enlighten, uplift, and inspire our readers.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Parenthood
Here is an opportunity to share your feelings about being a parent, sharing experiences about each of your children, as well as the changes that were occurring in your life during this new phase of life.
When were your children born? What age were you when your first child was born? How did your family and friends react to the news? Tell about the feelings and dreams you had while awaiting the arrival of each child. What preparations do you remember making for the arrival of each of your children? How did you choose your children’s names?
Tell what you remember of your earliest moments with each child. Describe the day each child arrived. If you adopted children or had stepchildren, provide whatever details you know of their birth.
What were your early surprises about parenthood? How did your family respond to your new child? Who had what responsibilities in caring for your children? What did you most want to be or do as a mother/father? What dreams did you have for your children?
What were some of the pressures in your life that stretched your ability to be the kind of parent you wanted to be?
What did you most like to do together as a family? Recall a summer, fall, winter, and spring memory with your children. How did you spend vacations when your children were young? How did that change through the years? Describe at least one vacation that stands out in your memory.
Which holidays did your family celebrate, and how? Describe some particularly memorable holiday celebrations. How did you celebrate birthdays?
Describe family mealtimes when your children were young. Who was there, what were some of your family’s favorite foods? And what did you talk about? What were meals like as your children got older?
Which were your easiest years as parents? Which were the hardest? Reminisce about several from each. As a parent, which were the most difficult issues of early childhood? The teen years? How did your financial circumstances affect your parenting and family life?
When your children were growing up, what interests did you have beyond work and family? What would you do to find time for yourself? What do you wish you had done more of just for yourself?
What did you feel was important to teach your children? What did you learn from your children?
What were the major crises you faced?
Which childhood diseases did your children have? What were their most serious illnesses and how were they treated?
At what times during their childhood were you and your children apart? What were the circumstances and what was that like for you?
Where did you live? When and where did you move, and what were the circumstances?
What schools did your children attend, from preschool through high school? Where were the schools located, and how did your children get there? What was your opinion about the education your children were getting at school? How were you involved in your child’s school experience?
What were some of your children’s out-of-school activities? Music or dance lessons? Sports? Hobbies? Clubs? Other organizational activities? Other individual activities?
How did you respond to your children’s tastes in clothing and music?
Tell something you’d like to do again with each of your children. Tell of something you wish you would have done more often.
How do you feel your work affected your life with your children?
At what points did you feel your children were launched into the world, and how did you feel at those times?
What have been the major concerns you’ve had regarding your adult children? Which of your adult children’s difficult times have also been hard for you? As specifically as you can recall, what have you tried to do during these times? What gives you special pleasure in your relationships with your adult children?
What have been your greatest joys as a parent? Greatest struggles/challenges?
How do you think your children were influenced by the time and place in which they grew up?
As parents, we all have some regrets. Which are the scenes that come back to you that you still regret and how would you replay them today?
What would you like your children to know about you?
Tell of something you admire about each of your children.
What do you hope each of your children will always know?
When were your children born? What age were you when your first child was born? How did your family and friends react to the news? Tell about the feelings and dreams you had while awaiting the arrival of each child. What preparations do you remember making for the arrival of each of your children? How did you choose your children’s names?
Tell what you remember of your earliest moments with each child. Describe the day each child arrived. If you adopted children or had stepchildren, provide whatever details you know of their birth.
What were your early surprises about parenthood? How did your family respond to your new child? Who had what responsibilities in caring for your children? What did you most want to be or do as a mother/father? What dreams did you have for your children?
What were some of the pressures in your life that stretched your ability to be the kind of parent you wanted to be?
What did you most like to do together as a family? Recall a summer, fall, winter, and spring memory with your children. How did you spend vacations when your children were young? How did that change through the years? Describe at least one vacation that stands out in your memory.
Which holidays did your family celebrate, and how? Describe some particularly memorable holiday celebrations. How did you celebrate birthdays?
Describe family mealtimes when your children were young. Who was there, what were some of your family’s favorite foods? And what did you talk about? What were meals like as your children got older?
Which were your easiest years as parents? Which were the hardest? Reminisce about several from each. As a parent, which were the most difficult issues of early childhood? The teen years? How did your financial circumstances affect your parenting and family life?
When your children were growing up, what interests did you have beyond work and family? What would you do to find time for yourself? What do you wish you had done more of just for yourself?
What did you feel was important to teach your children? What did you learn from your children?
What were the major crises you faced?
Which childhood diseases did your children have? What were their most serious illnesses and how were they treated?
At what times during their childhood were you and your children apart? What were the circumstances and what was that like for you?
Where did you live? When and where did you move, and what were the circumstances?
What schools did your children attend, from preschool through high school? Where were the schools located, and how did your children get there? What was your opinion about the education your children were getting at school? How were you involved in your child’s school experience?
What were some of your children’s out-of-school activities? Music or dance lessons? Sports? Hobbies? Clubs? Other organizational activities? Other individual activities?
How did you respond to your children’s tastes in clothing and music?
Tell something you’d like to do again with each of your children. Tell of something you wish you would have done more often.
How do you feel your work affected your life with your children?
At what points did you feel your children were launched into the world, and how did you feel at those times?
What have been the major concerns you’ve had regarding your adult children? Which of your adult children’s difficult times have also been hard for you? As specifically as you can recall, what have you tried to do during these times? What gives you special pleasure in your relationships with your adult children?
What have been your greatest joys as a parent? Greatest struggles/challenges?
How do you think your children were influenced by the time and place in which they grew up?
As parents, we all have some regrets. Which are the scenes that come back to you that you still regret and how would you replay them today?
What would you like your children to know about you?
Tell of something you admire about each of your children.
What do you hope each of your children will always know?
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